Thursday, May 9, 2013

I Don't Know About Princesses...and Other Girly Things

I'm working on a ghostwriting project that involves a small princess, and although I've read innumerable fantasy books--many that involved princesses--I realized that I don't have much in the way of little-girl-princess knowledge. That's not surprising, since I don't have much in the way of girl knowledge in general.

When I flip through women's magazines, most of the articles make little sense to me. A huge majority of the advertisements are simply color on paper--I have no interest in the products. And I wonder, do women really like these things? I know some women who seem to, and a few women who don't at all.

Here are some "girly" things I have little to no interest in.

Makeup
I've gone through spurts of attempting to care about makeup, but they only last a month or so. Then all that expensive stuff dries up and crumbles away in a drawer. The only makeup I wear on occasion is a bit of blush and eyeshadow when I'd like to appear less walking-dead than normal. I also wear lip gloss a lot, but that's more to avoid the discomfort of dry lips.

Here's what I don't like about makeup: It takes too much time to put on. I like to limit my dress time to ten minutes or so. I don't have time to get artistic with my face. Also, I have naturally oily skin, so if I don't take measures to remove the makeup later, I break out something fierce. It all adds up to a lot of expense and time I'd rather spend on things like books.

Blow Dryers
I only own a blow dryer because my husband had one when we met. He doesn't use it either. In fact, the only action the blow dryer's seen in the past five years was that time I almost caught the house on fire trying to dry out the carpet after the paint-fall debacle

I've never actually figured out how to use a blow dryer to effectively dry my hair. Probably because after thirty seconds, I decide it's taking too long and I just brush out the wet mass and let it air dry.

Massages
I've never been anywhere to get a massage, but I know it involves removing articles of clothing and people touching you. So, no thanks. I am not a tactile person. I'm not a huge hugger, although I've adapted well to a small, Southern-church environment. I'm okay with my husband cuddling on me, but sometimes I'm not. The thing I hated most about being pregnant was that everyone who was slightly close to me felt like they could touch my belly.

Massages are supposed to work out your tension and leave you feeling less stressed, right? That's why I'll take a pass. Just talking to some stranger about my tension would make me stressed; having them touch me would put knots in all my muscles.

Mani/Pedis
This is like a massage with added art for your hands and feet. No thanks. Although, one girly thing I do like is painted toe nails. I can do that myself without a stranger groping my toes. And for a lot less money, too. 

photo courtesy of ppacificvancouver
Spa
I say "Just say no to spas."  Okay, I've never actually been near a spa, but from what people tell me, spa days are like massages on steroids. In fact, spa days often involve massages and lots of other things that would make me uncomfortable.

I can have my own spa day at home with a bottle of bubble bath and a good book. I understand there's a lot more than a hot bath that goes on in a spa, but I'll pass all the same.

What about you? Are there some girly (or guy) things everyone else seems to love, but that you just don't get?

14 comments:

  1. I have no idea how to do my own hair or makeup. It is to the point of pathetic. Oh well!

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    1. My hair has only ever been "done" five times in my life. Either my mother (who was a hairdresser) or my sister (who inherited all of my mom's ability in this area) did it.

      On the other hand, I do cut it myself. But only because I just trim a few inches off and I've got a thick mass of dark hair that hides any mistakes. And also, because I prefer doing that than having someone touch my head. (It occurs to me that I might have problems.)

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  2. I hate shaving. Does that count? I often have to visit clients with work - for several days at a time - and that means living in a hotel, and shaving every morning. By the end of it I invariably look like Hannibal Lecter has had a go at me.

    Just discovered your blog btw - loving it!

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    1. That definitely counts. I hate shaving too, although clearly, we're talking about different areas here. It seems like as soon as I'm done shaving my legs, I've got to start all over. Who has time for that?

      Thanks for stopping by. Glad you found my blog (apparently through tech-based means?) Hope you stick around a bit...although it can get weird in here.

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  3. I don't get high heels. At all. They hurt and what's the point? I also never wear dresses. Mostly because I feel weird in them. I don't wear much makeup either. Great post! Um, but I do LOVE a massage...

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    1. I get height in heels because I'm just barely short of five feet. But I don't get pumps. If I'm going to do heels, it's usually a boot or shoe with chunky heels. I wore pumps a few times in an office environment, and I brought flipflops with me to work so I could where them all day and slide into the other shoes for meetings.

      I do wear skirts, but I think I might have worn a dress once in the past year or two. Dresses make me feel weird too.

      It's okay if you love a massage--I love the idea of having all my tension rubbed away, but I can't get past the touching thing. :)

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  4. I, too, am not a tactile person. It's awful when my kids are trying to be all sweet by rubbing my arm and I'm like, "ACK! Stop it!"

    HOWEVER, I loooooooove massages. Doesn't bother me at all. I guess I'm an all or nothing kind of toucher.

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    1. I'm opposite this. I only have one child and that never bothered me (although he's also not a huge hugger/cuddler for the most part). However, I work with kids a lot at church and it doesn't bother me if they are clinging or anything.

      I can tolerate a lot in children that I'd never allow with adults.

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  5. I adore massages and the spa, but I'm way too impatient for hair dryers, curlers, rollers, straighteners, or any other hair-torture device. I have long hair so I can braid it out of my face without having to "do" it every damn day.

    I was a bellydancer long enough to have to learn makeup, but it's pretty rare that I'll give enough of a hoot to bother in regular life.

    High heels, skirts and pantyhose are the fricken devil. I'm a jeans and tank top person. And pink/sparkly things...just ugh. :)

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    1. My hair is 80 percent in a ponytail of some kind. (I mean, 80 percent of the time...not 80 percent of my hair.)

      Yes--just say no to pantyhose. Seriously, I've never gotten more than one use out of them anyway--Apparently I become Wolverine or something in the presence of nylons. Although I do like a good pair of stockings for wearing with a skirt in the winter.

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  6. You sound awesome. I'm sat here smiling - my other half has the same mentality towards getting ready as you :)

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    1. haha. Thanks. I'd probably like your other half. I tend to like girls that aren't super primpers ;)

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  7. I'm okay with hair dryers, but straighteners baffle me. How does anyone use them without ending up with a weird, frizzy mop?

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    1. Or a fire? I would end up with a fire. Once, my sister used a straightener on my hair, and I admit, the results were pretty nice. I felt a bit like Cleopatra. But I can't even use a curling iron, so I'm pretty sure I should avoid straighteners. Also, that evening it took FOREVER for her to do my hair.

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