Monday, May 20, 2013

Ten Activities That Are Harder Without My Husband

This is Monday Listicles post. Because on Monday's it's hard to come up with blog posts, y'all. And also, all my creative energy is being siphoned by some other projects right now. A picture of the proof of that creative energy to the left. There are 50-some sticky notes taped to my wall. Taped, because sticky notes aren't nearly as sticky as they'd like you to think...

Anyway, in honor of Chris being gone for five days (which is not the longest I've ever been away from him, but it is the longest he's ever been away while I was home) I thought I'd share ten things that are a lot harder to accomplish without my husband around.

1. Drink a soda. We don't regularly keep soda at home, and I try to drink mostly water and hot tea. But I don't drink coffee, and sometimes you have a headache that just screams for liquid caffeine. Those times, I buy a bottle of soda from the local convenience store. The problem is, the nearest Pepsi-bottling plant must have some glitch with the machine that seals the bottle caps to that plastic ring. Normally, you give it a quick twist and it snaps free; sometimes I get a cap that's welded together. Chris can normally open them. When he's not around, I've got to break into my soda with a steak knife and a pair of kitchen scissors. You guys, a glass of soda should never entail broken skin, band aids, and a stream of carbonation with the force of a Super Soaker.

2. Laundry. The laundry room is in the basement, which creates all sorts of issues for me when Chris is gone. First, there may or may not be goblins/Silence in the basement. Second, there are two sets of stairs between the bedrooms and the laundry area, which means double the chance I'll fall because I'm carrying a basket and any notion of a center of gravity in my body is erased. Third, I'm short enough that I have to hang over the washer to get socks out of the bottom of the basket. Earlier this morning, I almost fell in. My washer almost ate me. Do you think the goblins would shut the door and turn the cycle on if I tumbled all the way inside?

3. Take out the garbage. This one doesn't need an explanation. I don't normally touch garbage. It just sort of handles itself. Except when Chris is away.

4. Anything involving cat litter. See number three.

5. Sleep. As much as I complain about the fact that Chris snores and thrashes about in the bed (one time, he gave me a bloody lip), I sleep better when he's in the house. I've been sleeping with the hall light on while he's gone. I also keep my glasses on the pillow next to me. Because there's nothing as terrifying as waking up to a man holding a gun only to put your glasses on and realize it's the treadmill and gun rack merging together in your degenerative sight.

6. Cook. Half of my kitchen is out of my reach. It's like I'm a toddler in a room full of stashed cookie jars. I could drag a chair or stool over, but that's a lot of work, you guys. It's so much easier when I can ask Chris to fetch me down a bowl or cup.

7. Get ready for bed. On a normal night, I'm up later than everyone else, and when I'm ready to sleep, I turn off my computer and a few lights, brush my teeth, and fall into bed. Without Chris, I get in and out of bed a dozen times. Mostly to check the door locks, which I've already checked but can't remember whether I've checked. Or which I remember checking, but I can't remember when I checked if I was 100% certain the deadbolt was turned. Also, to recheck that I've blown out the candles that I didn't even light that day, because that was yesterday. And then I lie awake wondering if I'd left the candles burning from yesterday until they went out on their own, and wasn't it a miracle the house was still standing? (And probably, Chris should just skip this one if he's reading my blog.)

8. Use the entertainment center. My husband plays musical chairs with his...musical system. There's always a new piece of equipment in the rack or there's a new set up. And there are too many remotes, and sometimes they're old and crazy looking. Luckily, I've got a 12-year-old boy who comes home in the afternoon from school. I think boys come with some sort of gene that integrates them with remote controls.

9. Turn off or on the ceiling fan. There are three ceiling fan and light combos in our house. I can reach the strings for the one in the office, but not the living room or bedroom. Chris always leaves them set to fan on, light off. Which is a pain when it's dark and I'm trying to climb on the coffee table or bed to change the setting. Especially when there's a tangle of blankets and cat on the bed. There was a near miss last night that almost involved a broken leg, a pissed-off cat, and a ceiling fan no longer in it's place.

10. Remembering to cook dinner. Since Chris comes home everyday around dinner time, and he's usually vocal about requiring some sort of food, I tend to remember to cook. When it's just me and Tucker, it's easier to forget unless Tucker's in one of his "eat the entire house" stages. Otherwise, he'd possibly go days without eating and never say a word. I've had to make it a point to have dinner at a normal time anyway.

So...despite the fact that my husband is, at times, the most aggravating person I've ever met--I definitely miss him when he's gone. And not just because he makes things a lot easier when he's around.

What about you? What things do you notice when your significant other's gone?

Don't forget to check out the rest of the Monday Listicles, too. This is the 100th list, and they're having a free-for-all Monday party. '


  1. I can relate to a lot of this! I don't cook dinner unless my fiancé is home because I can just make a sandwich or something. He does the garbage and kitty litter. And I definitely can't sleep without him!

  2. You need to find a way to convince the 12-year-old that cleaning the kitty litter, taking out the trash, and doing laundry is fun.

  3. Tucker actually does take out the trash, so that's good. Kitty litter is another story. He'll help, but sometimes that ends up making a bigger mess than the help is worth!

  4. My husband is also amazing with the laundry. He also changes all the clocks during DST. Buys the dog food. Empties the dishwasher. I guess I have it pretty good. Hopefully he sticks around. :)

    1. Yes, the clocks. Chris always changes the clocks, and he resets them all in the event of a power outage. I might be bothered to reset one or two, but I'd probably let the rest blink 12:00 for months.

      I'm pretty spoiled, as well. :)

  5. This is a good one. I always stay up way too late when my husband is gone--I'm the night owl, and usually he keeps me healthy by getting to bed by 11 each night!

  6. When my sweetie is gone...I sleep on his side of the bed (usually with a light on), I order pizza with all the toppings that he doesn't like (like the chicken wing pizza is my favorite with a blue cheese-hot wing sauce topped pizza with chicken), I have Netflix TV series marathons, i stay up later than usual because it's hard to sleep when he's not here, and I let the dishes pile up until the very last minute that I have to wash them.

    Happy belated Listicles Monday!

    Yona from

  7. I hear you. Although the only thing left on my list is the rubbish bins. Everything else I learned to live with. Specially solo sleeping...